♪♫♪In a way, I need a change, from this burnout scene ♫♪♫

Super short post today because it's super early in the morning and I got to get to bed.  Today was good though, all the bills are paid and got some things taken care of.  Still a lot to do though.  The best news is that in 14 days I will finally be 21.  Oh, I can not wait!! I can't wait to order one of those cool alcholic drinks at resturants!  Talking about resturants, we ate at IHOP today...which is the picture of the day. 

 

Yummy!!!! 

Well, Toodaloo for now!

Nicole Lynne

Btw,

The song is from shattered by O.A.R..because I know I won't remember this one.

♪♫♪Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of.♫♪♫

I finally got out of the house today.  One of Jordan's coworkers is absolutely awesome and she invited me to hang out with her today.  She's probably the only one that I have actually met, and hang out with down here.  We get a long really well too, which is always a huge plus...well I guess if we didn't get a long we wouldn't hang out huh? That was a dumb statement...sorry.  Other then that today has been a normal day.  Right now Jordan and I are pretty tight on money, but that's only because we have spent almost all of our extra money on plane tickets, and let me tell you, that gets expensive quick.  Were finally figuring out our bills and what's due when and getting into a rhythm, which is nice.  Talking about Jordan, he's the subject of my 365 pictures today.

Click on the picture to see it bigger & better :)

I am actually very very  excited about today's picture.  I think this is the first time I have actually played with the ISO on such a epic level.  I took this picture with a slower shutter speed then had to take another picture at a faster shutter speed to get the detail in the computer and then I just did my photoshop magic and came out with this.  I am so excited with the results!  I know its not the greatest lowlight picture, but to me this is just awesome!  I love the light outside coming in and the outline it gives Jordan.  I could just keep going! I'm going to keep working on lowlight pictures.  I'm pretty sure there will be more during the 365 project!  

Toodaloo!

Nicole Lynne

♪♫♪She only drinks coffee at midnight When the moment is not right..♫♪♫

I have decided that when I post my 365 project, I'm going to go to Pandora and the first song that plays is going to be my title.  I thought it would be a interesting twist to see what song popped up that day.  Now I just hope that I can remember the song that the lyrics come from, it should be easy, like this one is Meet Virgina from Train...a song that I would play over and over when I was younger.  

Time for today's picture.

Everyday Jordan will randomly look at me and with this crazy baby voice will say "but I want to CUDDLE!" Today I had my camera ready to go and he pulled me in for a hug and then I got a idea to take this, and I really love it. We have the blinders open so the light from outside was coming in and hit my eyes in the best possible way. Did I mention how much I love this, just the way he always holds me, the way that he won't let go.  I really hope that there is more pictures like this to come.  I think this could be really good for me.  I love that a year from now I'm going to be able to look back on this and now exactly what happened on that day...the memories that I will be able to come up with that I thought were locked away.  Well, I am making twice baked potatoes which could possibly be burning. 

Toodaloo!

Nicole Lynne

♪♫♪ You can count on me like one, two, three I'll be there ♫♪♫

I, Nicole Lynne, has finally decided to start a 365 project.  Not only because it will give me something to do everyday, but it will hopefully get me back into blogging.  I really enjoyed it when I was, but with everything that was going on with Jordan and moving it got pushed to the side.  So this is my first picture of my 365 project. 

 

Yes, I know..this is not a good picture, and an even worse edit..but as the first picture of my 365 project, it completely sums up my day. I got this package from my amazing best friend Colleen, and in included something that was covered in zebra print and this necklace. I love it, and her. I'm not sure why I included my ID..I think its because it reminds me just how far away I am from my family and friends...it kinda sucks..but at the same time I couldn't be happier finally being with my husband. 

 You probably have been wondering where I have been for the last 4-6 months.  Well, when Jordan was a few days away from graduating his MOS training, we found out that we were going to be stationed in Pensacola, Fl.  Two days later I was on a plane with two bags and some butterflies.  Not going to lie, I was so nervous.  It wasn't only because I was finally going to be with my husband, in our own house, with our own bills, but we were on the other side of the country, away from everything and everyone that I know.  We spent a week in a hotel on base, and thanks to the other Marines, we found a apartment and with the stuff that we had we moved in.  It's been a crazy blur ever since.  I love my life here and everything that has happened, but there's a lot of things going on back at home.  Plus, without a job here, my social life is a little lacking.  I mean I am getting to know some of the people that Jordan works with, but I don't get out of the house unless Jordan and I are going somewhere.  It feels so weird being the one sitting at home, I've always had a job, always was making some kind of money, but now I have none, zip, notta.  Jordan makes all the money, I like it, but I don't love it, if that makes any sense? I do, however, have a couple photography jobs lined up here which I can't be more excited about.  Jordan and I are both hoping that I can do really good with my photography here.  There is such an amazing array of different locations to do shoots around here.  So this is what it's like in my life right now.  I sit at home, wait for Jordan to get home, and we hang until bedtime and do it all over again.  I guess that's what I'm really hoping to get out of the 365 project, a new look on my life here.  Jordan's movie is about to end (he's watching Kick-Ass...a movie I am really not fond of, but that's ok...I knew it was one that he would enjoy) so, I believe it's time to leave you all now.  Have a good night!

Toodaloo!

Nicole Lynne

♪♫♪If I die young, bury me satin, lay me down on a bed of roses♫♪♫

Hey Y'all!!!

I have officially came to the conclusion that I really need to start writing a lot more regularly.  I have a lot stuff running through this head of mine..and because I have 361 views!!!!!!!

That is way more then I ever thought would actually take the time to read this, but what do I know, they probably didn't even read it, probably just skimmed and decided it was boring, but 361 people were here on my page!

I know, not really that big of deal, but it kinda is!

Oh, and please don't think to much in the song choice of the day, it's just been stuck in my head for about a week now.  It's a beautiful, but very sad song by The Band Perry, called If I Die Young.  I love it, and can play it on the guitar.  Even though I'm not the greatest singer or guitar player, I like to imagine that I am, when I'm alone, where no one is listening.

Since the last post I have:

Cleaned my car.

Done ALL of my laundry. (Trust me, that was big accomplishment)

Took a rather large bag of clothes to Goodwill.

Completely cleaned my room. (Once again, a very big deal)

Told work that my last day will be June 10th.

& Have talked to my husband every day.

 All in all I have done a lot.  If you can't tell from the above list, I am not a very clean person. No, not at all.  Honestly, I love clean rooms and stuff, but I really don't mind dirty ones either.  Ok, I mind nasty dirty, like rotten food and bugs and mice dirty, but not clutter dirty.  I am perfectly fine with my whole wardrobe sprawled out across my floor.  I still haven't really figured out why that is.  I wish I had just a little bit of clean freak in me, but I don't think I do.  It's going to actually be really hard for me not to go back to what it looked like before...which is sad.  I think my little brother Ryan got all the clean freak genes of the family.  I swear I have only seen that kids room a mess a couple of times.  I think he stole it all..which doesn't really make sense considering I'm the oldest...hhmm...

Anyways.

I am going to try as hard as I possibly can to keep this clean.

I can do it.

I just have to make myself do it.

Eh, lets move on, shall we?

Actually no, because now that I think about it, I'm going to have to be clean for pretty much the rest of my life.  Jordan is in the military.  Oh boy, I really am going to have to figure this out.  This might be rough...

Ok, now lets move on.

I can not even express how excited I am to be done with BK, not because I hate the people or anything, but to just be done with fast food in general.  I have been working in fast food since I was 16, when I quit, it will be 5 years in the fast food industry, and I'm done.  I don't know how people can do it there whole lives.  I really don't.  I don't think it was as bad at McD's as it is at BK, only because of the locations though.  At McD's we were always busy, always something to do, but at BK, it's deadly slow.  In June I will be done.  I only have 5 more weeks.  That's crazy.  5 more weeks and a new chapter of my life starts.  My photography is almost book for June, which is insane.  I just love how it's the summer before I leave and I get all this clientele and I won't be around again to enjoy the benefits of it.

I really hope that when I move out with Jordan, wherever we may be, that I can gain a clientele there, that somehow, I can do this.

I'm always second guessing myself.  I never think I'm good enough, but then I'll look back at a photoshoot or a photo that I edited, and be completely blown away, like "wow, I really did that."  I suppose that will come in time, the confidence part.

Talking about Jordan, I miss him.  We might see each other over Memorial Day weekend, and if we do it will be 2 months since we saw each other.  Yes, talking everyday is helping, a lot, but it's not the same.  I hear people tell me all the time how strong I am to do this, but I don't feel like I'm being strong.  I feel like this is what I am suppose to do, and I might break down at any given moment.  But I don't, eh, I guess since I don't that makes me strong, and I try to live day by day, not taking anything for granted.  Not much longer and we will finally be together again for good.

Well, I should probably sign off for now.

OH, almost forgot.  Keep checking back for the link to my new photography blog.  I'm still working on a layout and such for it, but it will have all of my shoots up there a long with ways to contact me and prices and such, it will be awesome!!

Toodaloo!

Nicole Lynne

This is a photo that I did for my Aunt Dawn today, thought y'all would like to see it :)
you can click on it and see it full size, I'm pretty excited with it! Please don't steal it though :(

♪♫♪It takes an army to march a mile, & It takes true love to stand the test of time, & it takes you Babe, to make me smile♫♪♫

Hello there!

Sorry it's been a few days, Ive been a little...preoccupied to say the least.

But today is a good day!!!

Guess what happened?

I finally got to talk to my husband!!

I don't even know how to put into words how good it was to hear his voice again.  It was like a breath of fresh air.

He's doing really good, having a blast shooting guns and throwing grenades.  & he told me today that he became the guide of his company earlier this week! That's a pretty big deal.  I'm so proud of him!

He has one more week left at Camp Pendleton then he goes straight to Camp Johnson in North Carolina for his MOS training.

Were hoping that I will be able to go and see him for a weekend while he's there before I pack up and leave to be with him for good.

Honestly, I'm really nervous about that part.  It's kind of terrifying.  I have also been a home body, never really like being away from my family.  Now I'm married.  I have to move on, and make my own family.

Don't get any ideas, there will be no babies coming out of this body for a very long time.  No babies, nope.

But someday though, it is going to happen.

...So..that part up there ↑..Yeah, I wrote that like 2 days ago..actually on Saturday, but I never posted it..hhmm I wonder about myself sometimes..

Now on to the rest of this.

I just realized that I haven't posted a blog for about a week, and yet I have a mental notepad of things I want to write everyday.  I need to start writing about everyday, I have so much to say!

Today at work my boss Jeff thought I was going to beat this kid up.

Before you get any crazy ideas floating through your heads this is what happened.

This kid, who isn't even a kid, he's like 20ish, asks for water.

I give him a cup for water.

He gets his food and goes to the drinks bar.

He gets Fanta.

I get mad.

I tell him to dump it out or pay for it.

He keeps filling it up completely ignoring me.

I get madder.

I say it again, louder this time.

He still ignores me.

I'm pissed.

I go to the door that the employees come though, which is conveniently located right by where this kid was stealing our pop.

I say it again.

He looks at me, slowly opens the lid, and slowly dumps it out. 

Then I tell him to pay for pop, get water, or throw the cup away.

He scowls at me and throws the cup in the trash.

I feel very accomplished.

Even though I must of looked like a crazy lady screaming at him over pop.

Jeff was very convinced that I was going to take the cup away from him, or beat him up.

That makes me laugh, my boss thinks I'm going to beat somebody up.

Anyways, enough about my job.

Jordan called yesterday while I was at work!!! He's finally getting our marriage paperwork done with the Marines.  Thank goodness because I think I might not have insurance right now..which is really not good! Time seems to be moving a lot faster now though.  I can't wait to be with him again.  I'm not good at waiting, not good at the sitting by the phone praying that he's going to call.  This is hard stuff.

I didn't understand the saying "When you marry a Marine, you marry the Corps" until now and it's kind of starting to suck.  Yes I will get though it and I will handle it.  Do I have to like it no.  Because it's dumb. 

Jordan has missed 6 holidays so far in the 4 months he's been gone.

Christmas

New Years

Valentines Day

Our 6 Year Anniversary

His Birthday

& Easter.

I'm not trying to make it so people will feel sorry for me or anything, I'm just saying this is an example on how the Corps is going to be such and impact on my life.  There is a good chance that when we do have children he won't be there when there born or watch them grow up.  As much as I may hate it, this is what he chose, and I will, and always will stand behind him in whatever he wants to do.  It's just going to be a lot harder then I ever thought it could possibly be. 

I was talking to Colleen (my best friend) tonight, and I was telling her how excited I was that after this week I will be able to talk to him every night.  It feels so good to know that when something happens in the day I can come home and call and he'll be there.  Not his voice mail, it will be him.  It's crazy how much I took things like that for granted. 

I am so proud to be his wife.  I will never want to take that back. Not ever.

Well as much as I know I could keep going, I must go to bed.  I have a dentist appointment at 9:50am tomorrow that I'm really not looking forward too, blah. & as always, thank you so much for reading!!

Toodaloo,

Nicole Lynne

One of my favorite pictures of us, right after my braces came off♥

♪♫♪I don't want to close my eyes, I don't wann fall asleep, cause I'd miss you baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing♫♪♫

I know I already posted today but I just read something, and I need to get what I'm feeling out.

I came across this blog today, A Little Pink in a World of Camo, and I am completely shaken.

This women is 23, and on March 14, her husband died.  He was a Cpl. in the Marines.

What did we get ourselves into.  I been trying to not think about this part of the military, not the deployments not the danger, and after I read this all of these emotions are coming that I wasn't expecting.  I was shaken to the core when I read this.  At 23 this women becomes a widow and a single mother.  Who's to say that won't be me, or even Brittany.

Brittany is the wife of JJ, one of Jordan's best friends, he also joined the Marines, along with our other friend Nate.  They all did it together.

How are we suppose to  hold up if we loose one of them.  I just don't know what to think.

Maybe this is harder for me because I can't talk to Jordan right now, because I'm not with him.  How is it even fair that at 23 your life gets cut short?

Maybe I'm just freaking out, which is a good possibility, but I haven't dealt with these emotions yet.  Not the "what if's" Every day he gets closer and closer to deployment, and were not together.  Every day I sit and wait for a phone call, and for time to just pass by so one day I can be with him.  I never let myself think about the "ok, if he dies what are you going to do."

No.

I'm not going to go there, I just can't.  I can't let myself believe that that's even in question.

Even though I am a very strong believer in "everything happens for a reason", there is no reason why a 23 year old should be become a military widow and raise there child on her own.  What's the good in that? What good could come from that?

Why did I even read that blog?  Why do I let myself get all worked up over things that are not happening to me...because they could.

That could be me.

That could be Jordan,

or JJ,

or Nate.

That's why.

But it's not, and I have to be strong for my Marine.  I can't sit here and believe that this will someday be us, because it won't be.

He is being strong for me, so I have to do my best to do it for him, as hard as it might be.  I got though boot camp, I can get through this.

Just day by day.

♪♫♪Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed♫♪♫

Hi again!!

Your back! I'm so excited!

If you haven't noticed I moved up to 7 followers!!!!!!!!! YAY!! Thank you so much guys!!

So, yesterday I didn't post anything, sorry :/ It was a long day...ready for a BK rant?? Well, here it goes.

People are stupid.

This lady came through drive thru yesterday throwing one of the biggest fits I have heard in a long while.  You wanna know why?

We forgot to give her a stir stick.

This lady was cursing and screaming over a stir stick. Not to mention it took me about .2 seconds to go get her her beloved stir stick.  But no, she sits there screaming while a line piles behind her.

At one point she was going on and on about how she came earlier in the week and got a cold hamburger. For one, there is absolutely no way that she could have gotten a cold hamburger.  Not only do we put all of our sandwiches in the microwave, but we also make them to order.  And even by chance she did get one that wasn't made to order, it would be sitting under the heat lamp, and guess what the heat lamps do??? MAKES THE FOOD HOT!!! Who of guessed right?  Food under heat lamps are hot? Hhmm obviously this lady was just stupid and wanted to be a pain in my butt for no reason.  That's cool, she can do her thing, she just made my blog more interesting by me telling everyone how stupid she is..over a stir stick.

Dumb.

..."I felt salt on the fries..." Enough said

People are stupid.

BUT there is also some really nice people, and every single day there is always at least one person who will make your day.

Like yesterday.  A lady came in who is a regular, so she got to know who we are.  Well, I took her order and she looks at me and  goes "Congratulations on getting your braces off, your teeth look amazing!" When people notice little stuff like that it just makes me happy.

Talking about braces...I just got them off the Monday that Jordan was home! This is what I looked like before ↓  ↓

See my right side really was my good side, it was straight and I had no real problems. My two front teeth stuck out a lot, like buck teeth, and the one tooth on the left went way behind. My bottom teeth were pretty crooked too. Now this is me with my braces (and Jordan too, we were on the train to Chicago, our first vacation together♥)  ↓

 Yeah, they were fun, I didn't really have any problems with them.  They only hurt a couple time.  Plus I had them on for less then a year! It was amazing how much they did in such a short amount of time! Finally we come to me without braces ↓

  So, as you can tell...braces have helped a lot!  My teeth have always been the one thing that bugged me about myself, and when I got my braces off, it felt like a dream come true.  I still have the stain though. If look closely at the picture of me without braces and the picture of me after you can see it.  Honestly, I'm not sure if I would ever want to get rid of it though.  It's me, it's who I am.  I know that it could get fixed if I really wanted it to but I don't think I do.  Honestly, I think it's cute when kids ask me what it is, and when I explain it to them, they get a certain look on there face.  Like they realize that I can't just get rid of it.  One day a little boy told me I should probably brush my teeth more, but when I told him that it was in my tooth, it's not because I don't brush my teeth, he just smiled and said "well that's good cause the rest of your teeth are really pretty!"  I just like the fact that I have something that makes people question.  It's like a don't judge a book by it's cover kind of thing.  The stain on my teeth is never going to stop me from doing the things I want to do, so why let it bother me.  Sure, Jordan and I could spend $6,000 to veneers to fix it, but why spend that on my teeth when that could be a down payment on our house.  I don't have anyone to impress but him, and he loved me even before my teeth were straight, so in my eyes, that's all that matters.  He loves me for exactly who I am.

Talking about Jordan, I miss him quite a bit today.  My days off are always the hardest. I am so looking forward to this weekend when I can talk to him.  So much has happened that I want to tell him about.  He's going to hate me when he turns his phone on because there's going to be about 10 text messages and I do believe at least one voice mail waiting for him.  I really can't wait for this part to be over with.  What can I say, I miss my husband...

Well, I could keep going and going but I just realized that this may be as long, if not longer then my first post, so with that, I am saying goodnight, and there will be more tomorrow.

Thank you so much for reading this, it means a lot to me!

Toodaloo,

Nicole Lynne

♪♫♪Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again♫♪♫

Hi again!

If your coming back to read more, I am utterly amazed, and extremely excited! Thanks :)

Today during work I reread my post from last night (well, really early this morning) and was amazed on how long it was!!  It felt really good putting things down where people could read them and understand me, just a little. 

Today was a long day.  I work at Bk, and I honestly believe that people get stupider every day I work.  Not only do some people fully believe that we are a sit down restaurant and it's completely normal for you to just leave your trays on our tables, but they think that just because we are behind that counter, were dumb.

We are not dumb.  We understand what you are trying to tell us.  It is not my fault that corporate says we can only accept one coupon per person, so don't yell at me about it!! I think it would be wonderful for everyone to work at a fast food place just once in there life just so they know what we have to deal with when they cause such a huge seen over food.  It is food, it can be replaced, and we will happily fix the problem if you treat us with the respect that we give you.

Ugh, I will more then likely write many more rants about the adventures of BK, but for now, I'm done, I promise :) 

I was so happy to be in the kitchen today at work though, get away from most of the dumb people.  I love being in the kitchen, because then I can think.  I love to just...think.  A lot of times while I'm in the kitchen I will think of some random memories, and I'll just catch myself smiling.  I'm surprised nobodies really noticed me just smiling for no reason, while I have about 10 sandwiches to make.  Like today for instance...I though back on this memory ↓

That would be Colleen and I going into the lake...freezing..because its our own little annual lake jump.  We've done it for that past couple years.  It's so much fun.  It's one of the many little things that Colleen and I have done.  What you don't see in the picture is Jordan and Keith standing on the shore, taking the pictures, while us crazy girls dive in.

So many memories that we have locked in our heads, but yet we don't take the time to look back on a lot of them.  Maybe that's why I'm so enthralled with photography, because it's a way of capturing those moments forever, making it hard to forget them.  If I could, I would love to just sit for a whole day and try to remember some of the memories that I have hidden away in this brain of mine.  I mean the big ones stick out, like the first time I met Jordan, or my first time at Disney, or the day that Ariel moved in with me...those will always be there, but what about the small ones? The ones that are really deep down.  I would love to get to those.  If only right?

OH, if you didn't noticed, I found myself a zebra print template..HECK YES!! I love it!! I told you it was a obsession!

Well, as much as I would love to keep writing, I have to go back to work in the morning, 11-7, yyaayy all day shifts...(hint the sarcasm?)

Thank you all for reading,

& a HUGE thank you to my two followers!! That's so awesome that you guys actually are interested, thank you so much!

Toodaloo for now,

Nicole Lynne

♪♫♪Well, hello world, How you been?♫♪♫

Hi,

To start things out my name is Nicole Lynne, I am 20 years old and I am pretty stoked that your even taking the time to read this.

If you wanted to know, this is what I look like...

Yes, I know, I look like I'm about 16, but hey, at least I know I will age well...at least I should, my mother did!

Some other things you should know about me..I am a photographer, and I will be putting quite a bit of my work up here.  I really hope you will enjoy it.  Also, I am obsessed with zebra print, if they had a zebra print template for this page, it would be being used.  I have a zebra print blanket, a stuffed tiger that is zebra print, glasses & sunglasses and quite a few other things.

I love to shop, like most girls do, but mine is like a stress reliever.  I love going by myself and just looking and taking my time and think.  I think a lot when I shop, about everything, it helps clear my head.  I have a huge problem with talking myself out of buying everything, which is probably a good thing.

I am a country girl.  I loved my 4-wheeler, I love to fish, I have no problem with getting dirty....just don't ask me about cars..they still confuse me.

I have an amazing family...even though were going through a really hard time together, we know we have each others backs, and that's all I could ask for.

My friends are better then I deserve.  Colleen is an amazing girl that I have the most amazing privilege of calling her my best friend.  Alyssa is one of the hardest working women I know and has been so blessed to have her here to help me through this process with Jordan (more on that later).  & Ariel is my oldest friend who I love and cherish so much.  We have had our crazy up and downs but I still love her, she is an inspiration, she really is.

Then we get to my husband, yes my husband.  I know what your thinking..."oh but your so young, why get married now" and what I have to say to you is "why not?"

Jordan and I have been together since we were 14, we did break up once...for 4 hours in 9th grade, but that doesn't count.  We have together for 6 years, we grew up together, we lasted longer then most marriages these days.  He is my best friend that I can tell anything too, my hero, and my rock. Right now pretty much sucks though.

You see, about last January he came to my house and flat out told me that he was joining the Marines.  Now, you can imagine my reaction, 4 years at the time and there was never a discussion, just a "I'm going to do it Babe." Lets just say after he left that night I went into hysterics, Colleen got that phone call, not pretty.  The man that I want to spend the rest of my life with is going to join the military.  Never saw that  one coming, not in a million years. I remember telling him that night "Well, were going to get married then, because your not leaving me just being your girlfriend."

Long story short, he was put on the delayed program (which I can't think of the name right now) and on our 5 year anniversary, he proposed.

He was set to leave December 13th, 2010.  The months leading up to that were tough, but some of the best because late summer he moved in with me.  It was our first taste of what our married life was going to be like.  It was tough though, because I knew that him being with me everyday would make the 3 month boot camp so much harder, but in my head it was worth it, and I don't regret it to this day.  We had a couple arguments, but nothing that wasn't solved by that night.  We are both strong believers in the whole "don't go to bed mad" theory.  At that point time just kept moving faster and faster, and before we knew it, it was time.

I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I did so good though, not a tear until Sgt. Laurs was talking about them leaving and going through the stuff that they couldn't take.  It was pretty bad out, crazy snow storm and the bus was late.  We waited at the recruiters office for a good 2-3 hours before the bus got there.  That's when the tears came.  We walked outside, we hugged and I balled like a little baby.  Wanna know what his last words were to me?

"I better come back to you in one piece!"

Yup, last words, still makes me giggle a little when I think about it.  I'm not exactly the graceful type, I mean I fall going up `the stairs more than I have ever fallen down them.

It was hard thinking that this was it.  It was the last time I would see him for 3 months, last time I would hear his voice.

Christmas stunk.  I tried to be happy.  My family sent him this picture for Christmas though.  He liked it :) 

A little bit after Christmas however, I moved in with my Aunt Dawn and her boyfriend Mark in there new house.  I don't think I could ever thank them enough for what they did for me.  I think I might me a little psycho by now if I was by myself still.

I quickly became one of those girls who knew the exact moment the mail was going to arrive, and I would pray that there would be a letter, just one letter, to get me by for the next couple days.  I strived for those letters, as did he.  We hadn't spent that long away from each other for 5 years and then we had to handle not even being able to speak, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I kept a pink folder type thing that I put every single letter in, and every single letter was carefully put into paper protectors and put in order.  I wanted to document that stage of our lives, so we could look back on it and know that we made it.

We didn't spend Christmas, Valentines Day, or our 6 year anniversary together.  That was hard, but I never really fell apart.

There was one time that I had a complete break down though, like non stop crying for 4 hours break down.

I missed his call.

I was devastated, and I know he was too.  I was at work and I have that neat little feature on my phone that translates your voice mails into text so you can see the voice mail before you read it.  Well I was checking the time and saw that I had a voice mail, so I checked it, and the first line read "hey you." and I knew.  That was our thing, whenever we call each other it's also "hey you".  I lost it. At work.  I ran to the back trying to make sense of the message, but I couldn't understand it because I was crying to hard.  I finally calmed down enough to actually hear it and it cut him off at the end.  I was beyond upset. I called his mom, and my mom, and then Colleen.  You must understand that that phone call was the first time I had heard his voice in 2 1/2 months, and it didn't even sound like him.  I knew he would be different but that voice mail definitely had me thinking that maybe he was going to be more different then I though he would be.  I did end up getting another call that night about 4 hours later, that lasted no more then 30 seconds, but that was enough.

A couple weeks went by and there was one letter that will stand out to me forever.  He asked me what I would think about getting married at the courthouse on his 10 day leave.  Of course I was ecstatic and started figuring out right away what we needed and how we were going to make this work.  Then I got to thinking however, if he was asking me about this, he probably has a good idea that he wont make it home for our July wedding.  That was kind of upsetting, but at the same time, I was going to be married to an amazing man within a few weeks!! I didn't have much time to be upset because before I knew it, it was time.

I was traveling with my very soon to be father-in-law, Brad, and his wife Deb.  The morning that we were suppose to leave for California was...stressful, to say the least.  Our plane was cancelled.  But Deb, amazing Deb, found us a way to get there.  We didn't land until about 9pm Cali time, which is midnight at home, but we were there.  We made our way to the hotel, settled in and I got ready to finally see him, after 3 months I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that I was so ready to just finally be with him, that it didn't matter.

Bet it wouldn't surprise you if I said I didn't sleep well huh? Well...I didn't.

I woke up so early that morning, nerves does that.  Got ready to go and we were off.  Honestly...I don't remember ever having to wait so much in my life then I did that day.  They would bring them out in front of us like this...(he's the one in the front row right behind the guy in the yellow shirt, third one from the left)

but we couldn't say there name, or hug them, not yet.  Not only did they do this to us once but a couple times.  It was getting really old really fast.  But then the time came.  He was released and of course I was the last one to find him in the crowd, the rest of the family had already found him, but when we found each other it didn't matter.  His face lit up and he had a smile that I hadn't seen in so long, nothing else mattered.

Well we rushed off the parade deck (which is a big cement area where they do drills and stuff like that.) and he went off to go and get one of his bags.  Not going to lie, it was awkward at first but it didn't last long.  We were happy...see?

Then he had to get, and the next day was graduation, and after that he was all mine for the next 10 days.  Yeah, I know, that doesn't sound that long, but to us, it was heaven.  He was exactly the same, he was just more confident, and it was amazing to see the change in him.

The Wednesday that he was home, we got married.

I was stressed that day but saying "I do" was the most amazing feeling that I have ever had.

Now it's 3 weeks later, and he's gone again.  He can call on his libo, which is usually on weekends, but this weekend he doesn't get any.  It's hard, sometimes I think that it's harder then boot camp because right now I don't know when I will see my husband again.  Yes, I get to talk to him, but as soon as I get off the phone, I go back to not knowing, and waiting.  I'm not a patient person, never have been, never will be, so you can imagine how hard this is.

I just got to keep thinking that soon enough we will be together for good...at least until he get's deployed..why did I sign up for this again??

Well, now that you got the run down on how life got to where it is now, I think it's time for me to go.  Tomorrow will be more on how I'm handling being a newlywed without the other half, and also dealing with other problems.  Be excited...oh come on, I know you are!!

If you read all of this, thank you.  I hope you enjoyed it a little.  Trust me, my life has never been a dull one.

Toodaloo for now,

Nicole Lynne